Randy's Corner Deli Library

28 April 2009

A Visit to the Veterinarian with Irving

Morty visits Dr. Danielle, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog, has a problem."

Dr. Danielle says, "So tell me about the dog and the problem."

"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Irving and he can talk," says Morty.

"He can talk?" the doubting doctor asks.

"Watch this!" Morty points to the dog and commands: "Irving, Fetch!"

Irving, the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then turns around
and says, "So why are you talking to me like that? You always order
me around like I'm nothing. And you only call me when you want
something. And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my
arthritis. You give me this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat,
and you tell me it's a special diet. It tastes like dreck! YOU should
eat it yourself! And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it's
out of the house, a short pish, and right back home. Maybe if I could
stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn't kill me so much! I should
roll over and play dead for real for all you care!"

Dr. Danielle is amazed "This is remarkable! What could be the problem?"

Morty says, "He has a hearing problem! I said 'Fetch', not 'Kvetch'".

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