Randy's Corner Deli Library

09 December 2008

Rod Blagojevich Speaks

Uh, Hi dere, dis is Guvnor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois. I'm in a bit a' trouble now dat de FBI and da rest u da guys with three-letter named offices are now climbin' up my ass jus' cus I wuz lookin fer a little grease - a- my palm, ya know, take care a me like dey useta in da oldays. Now its every man ferimself, and f*&^ the guy ya need to ta get ahead.

This is all Jesse Jackson's* fault ya know? That n)(*er couldn't come up with a measly five hunnerd thou fer his own kid ta be Senator? That cheap c*&ksucker! Ya know it's all them people don' know howda do business Chicawgo style that's f*&^ing up this country. If that crazy n*&^^er hadda paid, I coulda shut down da whole operation, relaaxed awhile in Miami, maybe get a consultin' job like awlla my buddies that're makin' millions and billions.

Da fact is dat now I am needing some cash right-a-f(*&in way. Right a-way, ya know? So if you people dere know somebody who's got about $10 million so I can get a plane ta Panama in exchange for maybe a Senate seat in Illinois, write my guys at "Friends of Blogojevich" in Chicawgo. Tell 'em Rod told ya ta call, OK?


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