The tangled web: An internet miscellany by Horatia Harrod

The tangled web

Last Updated: 12:01am GMT 30/03/2008

An internet miscellany by Horatia Harrod

Amazon.com's top reviewers

Harriet Klausner, Georgia. 15,978 reviews. 'I have two dogs, a cairn and a pom, and four cats. Oh, I have a 21-year-old son and a husband who wants to, but is nowhere near retiring. I am a speed reader (a gift I was born with) and read two books a day.'

Lawrance M Bernabo, Minnesota. 6,666 reviews. 'I'm always criticising things. Doing all this spares my wife having to hear what I think about everything.'

Gail Cooke, Texas. 4,303 reviews. 'For as long as I can remember I've loved readin', writin' and felt antipathy towards arithmetic.'

Rebecca Johnson, Washington State. 4,160 reviews. 'I'm mainly interested in items to enhance our experience on this planet, so I would consider myself to be "a lifestyle reviewer".'

Grady Harp, Los Angeles. 3,723 reviews. 'In painting and sculpture, in music, and in literature I'm ever on the alert for new and promising geniuses of tomorrow. The future of the arts is in the journey toward finding Beauty.'

Joanna Daneman, Delaware. 2,403 reviews. 'Need a review? Email me. I generally do not review fiction, but will make exceptions for historical fiction, some science fiction, and literary novels.'

Marc Ruby, Michigan. 1,696 reviews. 'I am a pleasantly rounded, middle-aged member of the male subset of the human species. I can be found reading computationalia, anime, manga, Japanese history and photography books. I am the proud housekeeper for one Chartreux cat - WYSIWYG.'

MySpace party horror stories

Lola Lennox-Fruchtman, daughter of Annie Lennox, north London, 2007. Parents-out-of-town party (her father's house). 100 revellers. Damages: graffiti on walls, broken pictures and lampshades, torn-apart books, urine and vomit on carpets, flooded kitchen.

Gemma Anscombe, Worthing, Sussex, 2008. Half-term party. Bebo. About 50 people. 'My mother thought it would teach me a lesson by putting it in the papers. All that's done is make everyone go "wow ur party made the front page".' Damages: drugged dog (Ecstasy); laptops, iPod, jewellery and passport stolen.

Sarah Ruscoe, Devon, 2008. An 18th birthday party. About 2,000 people. 'A large circle of friends, social networking sites and even the radio make communication that much more efficient. [That] things just got a bit out of hand is probably an understatement,' Sarah said. Damages: about £2,000.

Corey Worthington Delaney, Melbourne, Australia, 2008. 500 people. Advice to other teens planning parties: 'Get me to do it for you. Best party ever, that's what everyone's saying.' Damages: about £9,200.

Christopher Worthy, Chippenham, Wilts, 2007. A 16th birthday party. Details posted on YouTube. 100 gatecrashers. Father, David: 'It's all a bit of a blur. I had to take several days off work with my broken nose and two black eyes.' Damages: about £20,000.

Rachael Bell, Houghton-le-Spring, near Sunderland, 2007. A Skins-theme party. About 200 people turned up. 'It was so surreal. I regret everything that happened.' Damages: about £25,000.

Nanu and Vaishali Patel, Bramley Hill, Croydon, 2007. The couple had intended to rent out their empty house. About 200 people came, alerted via MySpace. 'We arrived to find police ushering over 100 schoolkids out the building, a lot of whom seem to have come from up to a 45 minutes away just to trash our house.' Damages: about £30,000.

Most expensive domain names

sex.com - $12million (2006)
SFund.com - $9,999,950 (2008)
Porn.com - $9.5million (2007)
Business.com - $7.5million (1999)
Diamond.com - $7.5million (2006)
Beer.com - $7million (2004)
Casino.com - $5.5million (2003)
Asseenontv.com - $5.1million (2000)
Seo.com - $5million (2007)
Korea.com - $5million (2000)

People taken in by 'Nigerian spam'

Victims of this swindle are asked to provide money, information or services in exchange for a share of a promised fortune

Ann Marie Poet, Michigan. Approached by 'Dr Mbuso Nelson', of the Ministry of Mining, Pretoria, to transfer $18million. Promised $4.5million. Lost $2.1million (embezzled from employer, a law firm).

Robert Andrew Street, Melbourne financier. 'The Rev Sam Kukah' offered $65million to relocate cash held by a Nigerian presidential payment committee. Street stole $950,000 from clients to fund it.

Carl Fratzke, Minnesota. Approached by Nigerian treasury official. Lost $750,000 ($250,000 was defrauded from friends).

James Lafferty, financial services expert, County Clare. Ghanaian widow, 'Eunice Dodoo', needed money to access millions left to her in return for a cut. Lost $310,000; abducted; ransomed in Ghana.

John W. Worley. Approached by 'Captain Joshua Mbote'. Needed to get $50million to overseas bank account. Was promised 30 per cent - more than $16million. Lost about $80,000.

The Rev Robert Nooney, Kent. Approached by David, a trainee pastor he met in a Christian chatroom. David promised Nooney $15million for a church and soup kitchen, but needed to free up the money (his inheritance, allegedly). Nooney sent him about $24,000.

Des Gregor, Hoyleton, Australia. Natacha, met on web-dating site, promised 7,000kg of gold if he paid $45,000 to get it out of storage. Flew to Mali, was kidnapped for $100,000 ransom; later rescued.

Best spam names

Ginger Benavides

advertisementKingo Buckland

Porfirio Burks

Negovan Burnheimer

Quoc Cardozo

Latasha Champagne

Santos Crum

Ny Defango

Bradly DeJesus

Cookie Fink

Pearlie G. Flexibility

Zhong Folks

Natz Frimpong

Horacio Honeycutt

Pasith Monteforte

Moises Moon

Eusebio Parklington

Aristotle Quigley

Santiago Shaver

Saskatoon R. Ferreted

Deandre I. Renderings

Chrysler Q. Dalmatian

Santiago Crump

Kermit Livingston

Unreservedly P. Niggardliness

Balsied J. Freethinker

Recluse D. Layette

Margarito Berg


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Spectacular internet failures

Pets.com Concept: selling pet accessories and supplies. Very popular sock puppet spokesdog. Launched: August 1998. Highs: initial public offering raised $82.5million. Amazon.com bought 30 per cent share. Aired $1.2million Super Bowl ad. Problem: easier to buy cat litter from a shop. Closed: November 2000.

Boo.com Concept: selling branded fashion wear. Launched: Nov 1999. Highs: got investment of about £130million. Opened offices in London, Munich, New York, Paris and Stockholm. Problems: insane spending ($188 million in six months); website was not ready when ads first rolled out; overdesigned website took minutes to launch and was confusing to use. Closed: May 2000 (lives on as a travel website).

Flooz.com Concept: sold online currency for use as a gift certificate at any of its partner sites (such as Barnes & Noble, Tower Records, J. Crew). Launched: Feb 1999. Highs: raised $35 million. Ads featured Whoopi Goldberg (paid in Flooz stock). Problem: easier to pay for things with real money. Closed: August 2001.

Kozmo.com Concept: offered a wide selection of products (DVD rentals, snacks, Starbucks coffee), delivered free within an hour. Launched: March 1998. Highs: raised $280 million. Signed five-year deal with Starbucks. Problem: free service not cost effective if it was delivering only a pack of gum. Closed: April 2001.

GovWorks.com Concept: a site to enable people to deal with local and national government more easily (pay utility bills, apply for government jobs, register to vote). Launched: May 1999. Highs: secured investment of $60 million; magazine covers and White House meetings. Problems: personality clashes between co-founders, brash frat boy Kaleil Isaza Tuzman and wet PC Tom Herman; technical problems. Closed: December 2000.

theGlobe.com Concept: early social networking site. Launched: April 1994. Highs: first sale of stock to the public was record-breaking - 3.1 million shares floated, with prices rising more than 900 per cent on the first day, a market capitalisation of more than $840 million. One day's trading made its founders, Stephan Paternot and Todd Krizelman, multi-millionaires. Problems: decline in share prices in 1999 (especially as the company had never made a profit); lawsuits for copyright infringement and posting spam. Closed: August 2001.

MyLackey.com Concept: offered car washers, dog walkers, wood choppers to busy professionals. Launched: Dec 1999. Highs: $8 million in financing. Problems: slack staff, who led co-founder Brendan Barnicle to send his notorious internal memo: 'All employees are required to be at their desk from 8am until 7pm, with 30 minutes for lunch. There are no exceptions.' Closed: October 2000.


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Unusual items offered on eBay

Gulf Stream Jet - $4.9 million (most expensive item ever sold)

Albert, Texas (the town) - $3,000,800

Former US intercontinental ballistic missile base in Washington state - $750,000

Soviet K77 submarine - twice offered for $1,000,000, in 1999 and 2000 - no bids received

Lady Thatcher's handbag - £103,000

Max the Mammoth (prehistoric skeleton) - £61,000

Decommissioned nuclear bunker in Cumbria - £25,000

Football with which David Beckham missed a penalty in the Euro 2004 match against Portugal - £18,700

A date with Penny Smith (GMTV presenter) - £9,000

'Life on Mars' orange Ford Cortina - £10,000

Ronan Keating's leather trousers - £5,000

Ian Usher from Australia is putting his life up for sale on the site (house, pets, job, friends, car etc). Tempted? Go to www.alife4sale.com